Sunday 9 June 2013

Breakdancing on Treetops

What is your shoe size? And do you have an embarrassing story that involves your feet in it?

Shoe size? 14EEE…yeah, big feet. And embarrassing stories involving my feet? None that I can readily think of…

OH!

One time, I was trying to change my niece…she was still a baby.

So I got her diaper off and I forgot to grab another, so I ran to grab one. What I DIDN'T know is that she had by then rolled off the couch and stood up beside it. So when I came back and reached down to pick her up, she peed all over my feet. Embarrassing why? My best friend at the time was over. Oof.

when are you coming to atl

Next Friday until the following Monday. Boom.

Photo



lolsofunny: high-on-kittens: dam grandpa lou u r...







lolsofunny:

high-on-kittens:

dam grandpa lou u r hardcore

(lol here!)

tokiwasurebito: rockleah: jonnovstheinternet: is natural...



tokiwasurebito:

rockleah:

jonnovstheinternet:

image

is natural selection a legit excuse to murder someone

^It should be

It is now….geez.

cdaviesss: 18differentways: 1x06 The Makeover Back when...

















cdaviesss:

18differentways:

1x06 The Makeover

Back when Disney gave a shit about girl's self esteem

Three pizzas a day for a month and she might cast a shadow
I'm fucking done

theawesomeliet: ITS BACK







theawesomeliet:

ITS BACK

Another night. Ask me whatever you want and I HAVE to answer. And anon is on. Surprise me.

Another night.
Ask me whatever you want and I HAVE to answer.
And anon is on.

Surprise me.

(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

Female Customer: "I'm sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?"

Me: "Of course!"

(While we're waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they're expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)

Pharmacist: "These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?"

Female Customer: "Oh, I have a horrible cough that's making my back ache even worse. I can't get to sleep."

(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)

Male Customer: "I'm sorry, I've just lost my job and we really can't afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time."

Pharmacist: "That's okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can't let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more."

(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)

Female Customer: "Thank you again!"

Other Customer: "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?"

Male Customer: "Yes, I was an IT tech."

Other Customer: "I own [other computer store in the area], and I'm looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?"

(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)

death-by-lulz: hobolunchbox: Science. Done.



death-by-lulz:

hobolunchbox:

Science. Done.

harrysthefather: tony-can-pierce-my-veil: gettin-nakie-outside:...









harrysthefather:

tony-can-pierce-my-veil:

gettin-nakie-outside:

witchyroses:

kickthebuttstickz:

fantasticallyshantastic:

stickyhunter:

fanuary:

stickyhunter:

ollivandur:

adxn:

Calm your tits! D:!

i'M TRYING But IT's HARDER THAN IT LOOKS

image

HOLD UP! I have a solution to this!

image

Follow my lead, people!

image

Simply pat your boobs and tell say 'Everything will be fine. It's okay.'

image

Then everything will be fine.

You dumb females. This is obviously fake.

image

Huh? What is this?

image

image

image

YE DID NOT HEAD MY WARNING

image

Okay…

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN

This is the only "hey girls" that I fully support

I wonder what mine do…

MYGOD

IDONT EVEN CARE HOW LONG THIS POST IS THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN YM ENTIRE LIFE

toomanyducttapetoomanyrope: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: ponyboyismyhomeboy: my eldest sister...

toomanyducttapetoomanyrope:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

ponyboyismyhomeboy:

my eldest sister had a boyfriend when she was in fifth grade, but we moved away so they obviously couldn't see each other. well, when she was in college her friend introduced her to some guy and it was her old boyfriend from fifth grade. after two days of catching up she told him she wanted to marry him. they've been married for ten years and have two kids together.

WHAT

dude sell that shit to disney

nilaresnin: sometimes i feel stupid but then i remember that isaac newton, father of modern science...

nilaresnin:

sometimes i feel stupid but then i remember that isaac newton, father of modern science and inventor of 1001 useful things, believed that the menstrual blood of prostitutes had magical powers

mokab: Isaac Newton Son of a bitch.



mokab:

Isaac Newton

Son of a bitch.

fitness-sports-happiness: Bananas help a hangover lol





















fitness-sports-happiness:

Bananas help a hangover lol

Can you describe her?

Of course I could…but I'm not sure if I want to or not.

the—personal—quotes: my—teen—quote: Are you a...



the—personal—quotes:

my—teen—quote:

Are you a teen? This blog is just for you!

I don't smoke and I'm not big on smoking…but...



I don't smoke and I'm not big on smoking…but it makes you wonder about America.

Photo



monotonethoughts: Yesss little cutie. You tell em!!



monotonethoughts:

Yesss little cutie. You tell em!!

1 comment: